love every moment (:

6th.

2009-03-01T07:03:00.000-08:00

Dear friends, I've missed all of you! All of you have been MIA, but no worries! We'll be seeing each other pretty soon, though I'm seriously dreading the arrival of that day.

Feels like I've been living in a safe little haven for the past 3 months and now, everything's starting all over again. Fretting over results, applications, making decisions, building up portfolios etc. If I'm born rich I won't have to worry if 5-digit figure salaries are ever possible. But I do think that it's time to get back to school, my brain's getting a little rusty.

Am currently training to become a dental assisstant, quite challenging cause I've to know the different procedures and the different tools/ materials needed. (Marg I'll try my best to help you k!) But this job won't exactly be useful without the results. As mentioned, I'm dreading the 6th.

Friends! Do date me, cause you know you've been missed (: Muacks!

2008-12-06T08:20:00.000-08:00

The past few weeks passed by in a blur. Slacking, catching up, prom shopping, which was a killer. Prom was fine, the photo taking made up for it. Post-prom was an experience. 12 minutes? haha. It just struck me that the next time I'll see everyone will be on results day!

Class outing to botanical gardens was..wet? haha drenched in the rain. It's the first time I went for a picnic walking under an umbrella trying my best not to get drenched. HAHA but it was nice to see everyone (: wuyue, I can organise another class outing with you!

Steamboat at nick's place was nice (: Great to see my beloved 05v11 again! We're the best class ever (: I love steamboat dinners! Especially the soup. I can't wait for new year to come. Well, christmas has to come first, and I can't wait for christmas parties too! LEANNE you better start planning 05v11 christmas party together with leon! We'll have a great party (: Oh, either that or we could plan an outing to visit Ms Tey and her little baby girl (:

I'm lost, and I need directions.

A LEVELS ARE OVER!

2008-11-20T07:50:00.000-08:00

Hi friends, I'm back, and A levels are over! I'm happy, but not super. Today's my last time wearing the VJ uniform, and the last time I'm officially a Victorian, though of course, the spirit never dies. I've been through so much these 4 years, and I know I'll miss VJ.

Went out shopping! (: THANK YOU SO MUCH OLIVIA MARJ DIANE WU YUE! (: for shopping with me hahahahaha and picking out nice dresses for me! And the food was good. We really should do this more often!

I'm now overwhelmed with the plans that I have and the things that I need to do! OMG I need a planner. and PLAN (:

Cause you'll be in my heart
No matter what they say

The last official day 3rd Oct 2008

2008-10-03T08:04:00.000-07:00

4 years in VJ and now it's finally ending. Not exactly sure how to describe how I feel. Guess I've not felt the full impact yet. I'll always remember the days I had in VJ.

05v11. Mr James Koh. Ms Tey Li Shun. Mr Lam Yui P'ng. Ms Elaine Low. Ms Elaine Toh. Mr Yang. Lee lao shi. Ms Karen Ong. Our platform. Fountain. Sofa. Japan. Iki Masho. Mt Fuji. UK. Tate Modern. Kew Gardens. Our classroom. <3 Beanss (& Taugays). ROM. BITS.

JC. Pw. Cool girls. Mrs Ang. Mrs Ting. Mrs Lee. Mark Lee. Mrs Cheng. 07s38.

Floorball.

So much has happened in the past 4 years. I've learnt alot, and I'm still learning. I'll never forget this memorable part of my life. Nil Sine Labore.

Continuation of my 18th birthday

2008-08-02T10:05:00.001-07:00

Something's wrong with the previous post. No idea what went wrong, but I shall continue from here.BEANS Thank you for the birthday treat! We've been through so much tgt, and I'm thankful to have you guys in my life (:

Wenshu HAHA nice photo! Thank you for your card and present, love it (:

Po po Mummy Sandra Sandy yi Love all of you. You all are an important part of my life I dont know what I'll do without all of you! Thank you for making my birthday such a memorable one! Thank you for loving me so much (:

Wu Yue Jia yi HAHA sleepover at my house! I'm glad to have both of you as my super good friends (: I know I can always count on the both of you! We have so much fun tgt (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OLIVIA! (: You've been a source of strength for me and I really appreciate that. Thank you for tolerating all my nonsense! Love! And HAHA such a funny photo! Wu yue and I look spastic cause we're maids while you look pretty holding nothing but your icecream (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DENNIS! Admit it, it's a spastic photo.

And to the floorballers: Thank you so much for celebrating my birthday for me! (& Dennis) It's such a pleasant surprise (: I was alreay very happy with the Hello Kitty marshmallows haha. Lovely cake and lovely surprise at Jack's Place! (Though wei wei jxin and wu yue totally cannot act HAHA) Thank you line 2 girls and guys for the lovely bench that you all made! HAHA we're now known as the bench line okay! Love VJFB (:

18th Birthday (:

2008-08-02T10:05:00.000-07:00

YAY I'm officially 18! Oh no I sound so old! I enjoyed myself thoroughly for these 2 days, and I would sincerely like to thank everyone who made my day (: Feel so well loved! Or rather, especially well loved on this special day (: Haha. Thank you all of you who gave me surprises, (presents =D), wished me happy birthday and especially those who wrote cards/messages for me! I treasure all of the well wishes, and I love reading all the messages! (: So heartwarming yay!

I took photos with practically everyone who wished me happy birthday!

Michelle Daryl with my 1st surprise of the day! Daryl made the nice sushi while dear mich painted the lunch box (15!), cut the grapes to form my name (which looked really lovely) and squeezed the orange juice! Love the lunch box and the princess cup! (: Love loads!

JT Michelle with their lovely cards! LOVE the cheesecake, especially the white choc layer at the bottom! And thank you for the nice sign! I'll put it up soon haha (:Amos for my 1st Hello Kitty Marshmellow of the day!

Marjorie Margaret for their well wishes. They never fail to make me laugh with their funny comments!
Pearlyn Vanessa whose birthdays are the day before mine!

Qian yu

Shi Han for your nice card and for being such a wonderful friend! It's really heartwarming to know that I have a friend who truly cares for me from the bottom from her heart (: I'll always remember what she said: "I'm happy cause now you look happier". Love. Zhi Han my fellow OGL! Avalon (: Really love the present, thank you so much! Didn't expect to get a present haha, so it's a pleasant surprise. Thank you for all the effort put in, I'm touched! (:

Megan

Xanglin my CT pres! Thank you for the present from the both of you (: And thank you for the lovely card you made for me before my season! (: You've been a great friend!

Sandra who never fails to say hi with a smile on her face (: Xuewen with my 2nd Hello Kitty marshmellow of the day! Fellow defender! (:
Desmond CherHan with my 3rd! OH all of us are defenders as well (:
Olivia We're the birthday girls! Love you loads. Thank you for always being there for me!

The 5 of us! Thank you so much Wu yue Diane Marj for the lovely cake (: Really happy to have such a nice cake! Hahahaha we had a nice time eating it for both days (: And really thank you for the card too! We spend almost everyday tgt! Thank you for having fun with me and tolerating my mood swings (: We'll study hard and encourage each other! We'll all do well (: Love!
Wilbur Joel HAHA so weird

Serene for your nice card with so many nice photos! (: You've been a really great friend and you're a source of strengh for me (:
Nick Lee you're so much taller than me now! Thanks for your support during my season!
Nazri Matt Anil haha

Michelle! Thank you for being such a nice friend who's always there for me! Really appreciate it (: We'll tolerate each other's mood swings cause we know at the end of the day we'll still be super good friends <3

Wu yue thank you for everything you've done for my birthday! You don't know how much I treasure you as a friend! You are significant to me (: I'm glad we're closer now! You're one of the few who truly understands me, and I'm thankful for that. Love you!

Wei Jiaxin stupid line mates! Line 2 Line 3? Haha no line. Oh yes we're the benched line lol. I love the bench that you all made for me! Super cute (: We've been through so much together, I'm just glad we're good friends now. I'll forever remember the times we had together, talking about the play, getting each other to improve, the free hits playups, everything! Love!

Zong Xing Edward for my 4th and 5th marshmellow!

Kelly 6th! Thank you for making my birthday such a memorable one! It's a great idea to have random floorballers give me a Hello Kitty marshmellow each when they see me! It's like small little surprises each time I receive one! Everyone seems to remember my birthday and it's so cute cause some will go like "Oh oh Jovena" when they see me haha. THANK YOU (:

Wuyue 8th

Stella 9th! Captain! Haha stupid girl. I leb you! =D LOL

JIA YI WU YUE OMG IT'S THE BEST PRESENT (: HAHA LOVE YOU TWO! BFFs LOL.

Yong Cheng 10th!
Therese 11th!

Dennis

Tim Lim

Jess Michelle yip

Jing Xuan for my 12th marshmellow! Nicer fringe now haha (: But you look quite auntie in this photo. =D Not like I look any better.

Turning Point

2008-07-27T23:56:00.000-07:00

I've learnt alot about myself in the past few weeks, seeing the kind of shit I went through. To all my friends, thank you for being so caring and encouraging towards me and helping me tide over this difficult period.

Floorball team girls & guys - We'll continue playing floorball tgt (:
Jia Yi - Thank you for always being there for me (:
Michelle - We'll be happy friends! I know we'll be fine (:
Shi han - You're like a big sister! Thank you for your concern all this while!
Serene - Thank you for your hugs and concern (: You've been really encouraging (:
JT - Thanks for all the encouragement!
Olivia - Hey dear, thanks for listening to me when I needed a listening ear. About floorball and everything else. Thank you for being so understanding and I really appreciate it (:
Wu yue - Just really want to thank you for being there for me (: You made me realise certain things about myself haha. It'll go away and we'll be fine soon wu yue!

It warms my heart to know that there are friends who really care about me, and I sincerely appreciate all the concern that you guys have shown towards me. (: Feel so well loved haha (:
I promise I'll start being happy once again!

Better Together (:

2008-07-26T10:05:00.000-07:00

College Day was boring, as usual. But the performance, in my opinion, was great. Thoroughly enjoyed the piece played by the Symphonic Band. (: Went out with Diane Wuyue and Olivia after that. Haha our 2nd outing so far? But without Marj on both occasions ): Ate icecream, sushi and bought my favourite biscuit.

Had to entertain Olivia until it was time for her surprise birthday party. Haha stupid girl. I think we were being quite obvious, but she's still oblivious. Even when she saw us she thought it was Pearlyn's birthday party. Silly girl. The party was rather interesting, the best part was the broccoli. Pass the message was funny, and I laughed till I teared. Haha (: And Olivia, thanks for the birthday song! Had to make do with the "J" made up of longans. Enjoyed myself nonetheless.

There's no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard
No song that I could sing
But I can try for your heart
Our dreams, and they are made out of real things,
Like a shoebox of photographs,
With sepiatone loving,
Love is the answer

team dinner

2008-07-12T10:05:00.010-07:00

It feels good going to Valhall with the team once again. Marathon was fun (: scored 2 goals, quite embarrassing cause I was so happy that I scored. But hey, I don't usually get the chance to score k, so give me a break.

Love the red pillows the J1 girls and guys made for us (: Really pretty. The guys look gay hugging it around. But I love it (:

Went to Marina Seoul Garden for dinner (: Thank you Mr Loke for treating us! Mich Zong Xing Jheng and I were at the same table. All I can remember is Zong Xing's mountain of meat and Jheng trying to pry open his cockles. HAHA. And Zong Xing's always asking saying "turn turn" cause he wants us to turn the meat. Super funny (:

Walked out of Marina Square and settled at some spot. Took lots of nice photos with our jerseys haha. Edward and Stella contested each other to breakdancing. Stella just looked spastic while Edward looked quite pro. Had a fun time laughing. Enjoyed myself. Cam-whoring's fun okay.

This is probably the last time we're going to play together as a team. After that we may not even get the chance to play together anymore. Well, at least we enjoyed the time spent together.

If you don't even try, how do you know that it's not going to work out? No harm trying. If it doesn't, then it's not meant to be. Don't be stubborn. Be true (: and love every moment <3

Hope I didn't leave anyone out.

2008-07-12T10:05:00.009-07:00

THANKS.

Jove (:

2008-07-12T10:05:00.008-07:00

Come on jove, let it go. Stop thinking about it and it'll go away (: Alright I'll treat myself to icecream if I succeed. Cheers!

Move on

2008-07-12T10:05:00.007-07:00

Disappointed over the loss. We should have won this game. 5-4, lost to YJ. Nothing much to say. Just that it's really over. VJ's last floorball match of the season, and it ended quite badly. The final whistle came quite abruptly. To think I was so confident that we would win this match.

This time, it's different. I'm facing it alone. Whatever it is, I hope I'll pull through soon.

So Close

2008-07-12T10:05:00.006-07:00

Most exciting floorball match I've ever watched. We were so close. Every single minute seemed like forever. I was going crazy. Dennis Derrick Jheng. The girls were all crazily happy when the goals were scored. Felt as if we had already won the match. Amos was the best - "HEY YOU!" Way to go, Amos! That was a smart move.

Congratulations, guys! You all played a fantastic game. Stepping up at every single occasion, attempting shots every single change you get, running like mad dogs, intercepting their passes, blocking their shots. It was amazing. (: Best match played so far.

I know we have to move on, but it's really not easy for me! This is the first time I'm feeling so depressed for such a long period of time. I've not touched my tutorials at all for the past week. I dont recall feeling like this before. I'm feeling weak all over. Maybe it's a sign of weakness. Maybe I've not encountered such extreme disappointment before. Just when I'm picking myself up, it hits me again. I can't do this alone.

1 Week Anniversary

2008-07-12T10:05:00.005-07:00

Walked into Tampines Sports Hall with a feeling of dread. It's supposed to be our match against MJ or RJ! We're supposed to be there in our jersey and sticks, doing our warm-ups and drills. "1 week anniversary", according to Stella. It hurts so much seeing others play OUR match. I'd give anything to play with the team again. Give anything to be standing in the court, running after the ball, shouting VJ with so much belief and team spirit once again.

Decided to pop by Valhall together with Stella. Walking the familiar route to Valhall brings back lots and lots of memories. I'd never thought that the day would come that I would actually miss walking to Valhall. Haha. It's sad.

Played match with the guys. Felt uncertain when I first stepped into the court, but after awhile I just went back to doing the normal things, defending and blocking shots. Quite awkward to play with the guys cause they're so much better (ahem.) but still, I enjoyed myself thoroughly. I love the feeling of holding my stick again. And I wonder when else I'll be able to do this again.

From Kelly: i'd buy you many sundaes, write on many tissuepapers, and sit by the playground till midnight if it takes me. You may not be referring to me but you all did this for me! So I just want to thank you guys again (:

To the girls: We'll pull through this together. Time to move on, time to let go. It's difficult, we all know that. One week after, and we're still so affected. Guess we can think of it as we all really love the sport and the team so much so that we can't bear to let go. But our friendship's still gonna be there. So cheer up everyone! I know it's ironic coming from me, but I know we have to move on, somehow, we'll find a way.

Disillusioned

2008-07-12T10:05:00.004-07:00

The day passed by in a blur, didn't know what I was doing most of the time. I hope this stops soon.

Everyone, look at Stella's spastic face. (:

Fight on.

2008-07-12T10:05:00.003-07:00

The guys drew with Raffles 2-2. What the hell. The referee should be sacked. Exciting and close match I would say. Had heart attacks for a quite a few times. Nice fight, guys, and be sure to continue to fight on. Take the next 2 trainings to make yourself prepared for the next match. Though the fight with MJ will be a tough one, but I believe in all of you. Don't be discouraged! Stay strong, before during and after the game. Be calm and be confident. We'll be supporting the guys all the way! (:

Ahh. But we were so close! We WERE leading until the asshole decided to take away our penalty. When the guys scored the first goal I almost ran into the court +_+ Same for the 2nd goal. Amos was superb, saved alot of shots. But nice fight for the players as well, though it was a little messy and could tell that the guys were exhausted, mentally and physically. Cheer up, guys! Crush MJ.

I could feel the familiar pain in my chest throughout the whole of Econs tutorial and it was horrible. I needed the win today so badly. And now the pain's even worse. Been going home past 10 continuously for the past few days, cause I can't bear the thought of going home and being alone. Don't want to go to school cause I'm dreading lessons and facing everyone. And now, I'm going to totally hate lessons as well.

Wu Yue: I was joking, but guess it came out bad and you're offended. I don't know what to say, and now I don't know what to do.

I OFFICIALLY HATE SCHOOL.

But thank you michelle jxin(MELROSE) xuan kelly JT and wei for making me feel better! Thank you for the ice-cream (: Cheered me up. And cam-whoring helped. I've taken so many photos for the past week that I've lost count. It's crazy, the number of photos I took. I love the photos that we took with the handphone lights and long shutter! SUPER COOL (: All our names look super nice. We shall do more of this next time (: Nice way of relieving the pain, though its temporary.

I'm still upset. And troubled.

And now it's time to sleep again.

1st day of school after it all ended

2008-07-12T10:05:00.002-07:00

I couldn't sleep. It was terrible. Kept thinking about floorball and my heart just beat faster and faster. It's just something that I can't control. Wanted to sleep and forget the pain so badly. I don't want to sleep ):

School was terrible. Walked into school and I could feel my legs going weak. Dao-ed the v11s and went to the canteen to join the rest of them. Sat at the back of the hall with the entire team. 7-3 was mentioned really briefly. But it means a hell lot to me.

Leanne was the trigger. She came up to me and asked me about our match, expecting to hear good results from me. I'm sorry I walked away dear, I'm just not ready yet. Give me time.

Went to pizzahut after school. What a relief to be away from school, laughing and just forgetting about everything else. Took lots of photos at the funny playground, happy and emo ones. Tried to find the pink flamingoes but failed. Ended up with a tour around the housing estate instead. Nice houses! I'll live in a super nice house next time, like the number 10!

Watched the guys train and I can't help but think that I won't be having trainings anymore. I wont be sitting down on the ground listening to Yan split us into our lines, or I won't be sitting on the stage, dangling my feet and watching the girls play anymore. I realised I need to be around floorballers or be in trainings or watch matches to feel better. I can't avoid the pain. I need to face it. And I'll come to accept the fact that one day, all my memories of floorball will be the good and happy ones, and the pain will be forgotten. 11-0 win! YEAH!

Went out, had team dinner (: Ate at Carls Junior and subway. Celebrated Jheng's birthday. Nice presents haha, quite creative. Jheng, be touched! I laughed and sang quite alot. Nice way to forget the pain. We just hung out as if there's no school tmr. We're all not in the mood for school. Maybe we can all retain and play next year.

I love the team.

2 days after

2008-07-12T10:05:00.001-07:00

Rushed to Kelly and JT's church after vocals. Impacted me, but I shall talk about this some other time. Went to town (: Jia xin kelly Jt and I (: All went crazy at the food fest. Ate alot of nice small snacks! Love kimchi (: Love the icecream too. Decided to eat alcoholic icecream for the first time. Didnt really like it in the past but I felt like trying something new today so ya. Nice. The bitterness of "Orange Bitter Choc" lingered in my mouth and reminded me of my pain. And I continued to eat more of it.

Cam-whored. Love the photos haha. Xuan joined us and we continued taking photos. Mud shots + jump shots in Orchard. It was fun. Our colours were nice too. (: Went to Far East and poor JT had to accompany 4 girls to shop though he was really tired. He fell asleep while waiting for us! Poor thing. Shopping was fun, though I didnt buy anything. Xuan, please stop being so ah ma. Your dress is nice (: Do wear it often.

Didnt want to part with them. Luckily Jxin and kelly took bus 5 with me or i would have died on the journey home. Talked alot. At least being with them eases the pain a little, cause they understand. I feel so bad shutting my friends out. Sorry people! It just hurts to tell others that we have lost and we're not in the finals, though our team worked so hard and we freaking deserve a place in the top 4. Someone please tear up the oracle calender.

Came home and read all the blogs. It's sad but encouraging to know that the juniors are so fired up and so keen to train hard for next year's season. They still have a 2nd chance. Wu yue and Wei's blog made me cry. Hard. I no longer can tell my mum I have training and that I'll be home late. No longer can I train with the team that I've come to love and treasure. No longer can I hate suicides or say "sorry Yan, i forgot to bring the black shirt". No more water parades. I can no longer unpack my bag and hear my mum complain about my stinky clothes. I bought this super nice green face towel from Aussino meaning to use it for trainings and matches to see it folded and placed nicely on my bed only today. Will the pain ever go away?

From wu yue: i will get over it.but i will not forget.
From Wei: deep inside, the pain still lives,and will continue to live in me.
From mich: you'll take quite long to get used to having no trgs. you'll always love fb, always
From mattho:
one good way, probably to help in 'getting over it' is to work together, to strive for good results as a team to show your juniors how bonded you all are, and that you all do everything together, which floorball has brought you this friendship. strive for one thing that will help you glorify your floorball team in it (:
From dennis: you should be proud of yourselves because we know we are proud of you =) we will fight on and win for you
From Stella: VJC, THIS IS THE GAME. (:

I love my floorball stick, seeing how it has accompanied me on my 2 year journey as a member of VJ floorball team. Love you, lollipop. +_+

Love VJ floorball team 08

The day after

2008-07-12T10:05:00.000-07:00

Stoned around in the morning, didn't know what to do when I don't have anything to keep myself occupied. Glad that it was finally time to meet my aunt. Went to see little beanie through the ultrasound. She's cute (: Nice to have something to cheer me up. I'm going to have a cute niece soon, and I love her already.

Went shopping. Bought a dress and a top from Miss Selfridge, a top, shorts and accessories from Topshop. Retail therapy. Helped a little. Mum was so nice to me today. Yay. Went on to Singapore Flyer after that. It was a pleasant surprise planned by my mum. My family members were all there when we reached, even my dear old great-grandmother. 17 of us took up one entire capsule to ourselves, and we had a great time. Love my family. Spastic photos. Went on to eat dinner and cut my yummy durian cake. Great to see so many of them turning up to celebrate my birthday for me, though it was my Chinese birthday and I didnt even know it. Really apprecitate all of them, especially my parents who painstakingly organised it for me. (: Once again, I love my family.

But it still hurts. The feeling just goes away temporarily, but the pain is still there, waiting for its chance to jump out at me to hurt me. I'm not exaggerating. Every small detail reminds me of floorball, and it hurts, as if my chest is constricting, refusing to let me breathe. I know I should let it go. Though it hurts, but I can't bear to let go. It's just too difficult.

Wei, Jia Xin, Wu Yue and Therese: I love our line, and I know we work well together. We just didn't perform well this season. Wei & JiaXin: We've played with each other for 2 seasons, and we've come to know each other better. The way each of us play, think, what each of us want. It really sucks not being able to play with each other again. But at least we know we'll be there for each other.

I have no idea how I'm going to overcome this. Dreading school. No mood for lessons. The pain is overwhelming when I'm alone. How am I going to get on with life without trainings, without seeing my teammates often. I've grown so used to life with floorball, I feel empty without it. I know we still can train, but it's different. All good things come to an end, I agree. But it shouldnt have ended the way it ended.

VJ Floorball Team 08 <3

2008-07-11T18:21:00.000-07:00

Guess what sparked off this blog was the sentence in Stella's blog. "If your life is worth living, it is worth recording."
A Divs came and passed just like that, I still can't believe it.
Girls, we fought hard, so heads up high.
"Walk into the court with confidence", we did it.
"Walk out of the court with no regrets", well, maybe.

Alright allow me to whine a little.
Everything passed by so quickly, I can't seem to remember the times i played on court. Can't remember passing the ball, can't remember defending, can't remember anything. And i so miss the feeling of running on court, sprinting like shit, pushing the opponent, passing the ball, or even shooting. We played well for the MI match. 11-0. Our first and last win. It hurts just to give up this win for our 2 losses. Seeing how we gave up after the opponents scored, maybe we aren't strong enough. I can still vividly remember the sinking feeling when i see the ball hit the net in our goalpost. It sucks. Guess i dont remember much of the game cause I didnt watch it. Either too nervous or can't bear to. But I can say i did give my 100%, just that it wasn't enough. Not good enough to beat the other team, not strong enough mentally to fight back.

VS. VJ. Valhall. Setting up the boards. Doing warm-up "top to bottom". Drills. Warm-up keeper. Hard shots. Simple dribble. Simple double. M drill. L drill. Play-up 1. Play-up 1 situation 2. Play-up 2. Play-up 2 situation 2. Play-up 3. Hit in. Switch. Free hit. Body in. Be aggressive. Step up. Body to blade. Weigh your passes. Ground ball! Follow through. Down boards. Top-D. Blind side. Slot area. Basic defence. Shoot. Line change. Suicides. Cooling down.

It's over. Let it go. Well, I'm trying